““Stand up and be counted, or sit your ass in the corner and colour.” ”

— Lori Lifsey

I was talking to a very close friend late last night, and she was incredibly upset. After hearing what was wrong, I felt so physically cross and mentally crabby I would have relished the opportunity to have a young Cassius Clay (or possibly Tony Abbott) materialise in front of me so that I could have a ding-dong punch up.

Make that definitely Tony Abbott. A Rumble In The Jungle is far more satisfying when it's against someone you actively feel would benefit from a good seven punch combo.

What was behind the reasoning for my rage? As often seems to happen, someone who had no personal knowledge of another individual - who was motivated by jealousy, or an inability to achieve, or simply that most destructive of all human behaviours - malice - had decided to make someone dear to me's life hell.

Because they could. And because they wanted to.

Why is this acceptable?

I can be nasty. I am not immune to having a bitch about others - if someone gives me the irrits, then yes, the temptation is always there to express said irrits in less than flattering terms.

See above re our current Prime Minister.

But I have never understood the need that some people seem to feel of taking down others they don't even know. I'm not talking about the lionising and then the destruction of celebrities who do 'the wrong thing' - or what the general public determines is the wrong thing, which in itself can be scary as hell. I'm talking about those individuals who feel they have a right to be careless with people's lives; without consequence and without conscience.

To ascribe feelings, thoughts and behaviour to someone whom you've never met - to actively state that they are 'this' person - it's just wrong.

'X is only going out with Y for their money/looks/position'.

'How do you know? Did they tell you?'

'No, I've never met them. I just know.'

This mysterious ability to reach inside another person's head is obviously something which security forces across the world should be tapping in on. Forget phone and interwebs screening, forget careful surveillance; just pick up a few of these superheroes and put them in front of your most wanted.

'Yep, he's a terrorist alright.'

'What are you basing that on? Psychological analysis? Predictive behaviour? Past actions?'

'Nope. I just don't like the look of them. And once someone who looked like him kicked my cat'.

Analysis through ignorance is one of the nastiest things we humans do. To impact on another person's life simply because you feel you have the right to say what you think about them - with no knowledge or understanding of who they are - no. Not acceptable.

I hope that every person who reads this has a great Sunday. That your day involves sunshine, and lazy brekky, and being with people you care about. And that maybe - just maybe - if someone says 'I heard this about X' and starts pulling them down, you don't just listen and nod, and maybe even repeat it, because you assume that they know what they're talking about.

Instead, give the gossip what it deserves.

That seven punch combo.

““Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?” ”

— Bill Maher

I have been reminded on a couple of occasions this week about what it means to live life virtually. And for someone who works within the realm of social media and the interwebs, I freely admit to being an online junkie. By the same token, I would much rather spend face to face time with those I love rather than just FaceTime - but if it is a choice between not having contact, or being able to yarp to those I care about as much as I like, whether they be across the country or across the world - as I have said before, then take me to your iLeader.

But.

Sometimes the phantom menace that is the wonderful world of the web does show its not so pretty side. I am not so naive as to think this shouldn't apply to me; Facebook isn't nicknamed Facestalk for nothing. And if I don't want to invite commentary on my comments, on whatever form of social media I use, then realistically I shouldn't be on there in the first place. I also accept the whole 'oh I can't believe you went to that place on that date without me' aspect of people knowing exactly where you are at any given moment in time, because hey, that's what you sign up for.

It ain't a private world, people.

But there is a limit.

Isn't there?

Gossip has existed since the first caveman walked blinking out of his furs and saw his neighbour furtively carrying his third neighbour's woman off by her hair. It's the way we are. We thrive on it. Social media - hell, any kind of media - wouldn't exist without gossip. It could be said that gossip makes the world go round. Certainly common sense doesn't, otherwise we would all be living in peace and harmony and people like Kim Jong Nutbags would go up in a big puff of smoke.

People love gossip. Scandal. It's ace. Dissing what people are wearing/doing/seeing. There's nothing better for the self-esteem than seeing someone make a poor fashion choice and feeling superior about it. But once the scandal simply becomes mud-slinging for the sake of it - well, then it becomes a whole different story.

I am as guilty as the next person (unless the next person happens to work for TMZ) of enjoying looking at bad outfits and thinking about how much better I look in clothes. But do I like tearing people apart when they are in a state of distress? No. Similarly I don't see what pleasure someone can get in attacking someone's opinion in a way that is not about the opinion, but about the person.

I have to admit that what I am seeing at the moment on various channels is scaring the hell out of me. The amount of vitriol out there, and a simple lack of respect for other people's opinions is overwhelming. Everyone has a right to express themselves; but just because you don't agree with someone else, does that give you the right to stomp all over what they are saying in a way that is truly unkind, rather than informed debate?

I go back to my comment about perhaps being naive. If I want to get mad, I don't tend to do it publicly. I try very hard to keep grudges (except against certain sporting figures who just keep walking into it) private and personal. If I make a comment on social media, I think about what I am saying. I am by no means perfect at this, but I try to consider what I say in terms of how it will affect those who read it.

Maybe that's all it comes down to; a bit of a pause between brain and keyboard. Because you can delete at will, but the words once written never really go away.

That's the trouble with webs and nets. - they are, after all, designed to trap things. And personally, I don't like the idea of being a virtual bug. One ends up being eaten.

Sometimes alive.