The Body Beautiful?

“““She was clean”: no piercings, tattoos, or scarifications. All the kids were now. And who could blame them, Alex thought, after watching three generations of flaccid tattoos droop like moth-eaten upholstery over poorly stuffed biceps and saggy asses?” ”

— Jennifer Egan, A Visit From The Goon Squad

I (rather foolishly) got into a debate the other night on Facestalk with people far younger than myself on the merits or otherwise of getting a tattoo. Once I stopped shuddering at the heinous spelling and grammar and concentrated on what was being said it was incredibly interesting to see the range of views from very young Gen Ys. Beautiful, ugly, go for it, don't do it - I loved to see the debate, and I also loved that my opinion was taken into account (although the 17 year old boy who said 'you're REALLY old!' is a dead tadpole walking).

I was reminded of this yesterday with someone asking me my opinion of tatts - for a few reasons - and I started thinking about why I really, really have never wanted one, when I have succumbed to pretty much every other trend on the planet and I have the pain threshold of a non-complaining elephant.

I know that people get tattoos for sentimental reasons, not just because they think they look beautiful, and I comprehend this. My friend Lady L has a breast cancer Pink Ribbon tattooed on her foot and as a cancer survivor I don't do anything but applaud that. Others have names or symbols - Angelina Jolie with the latitude and longitude of each of her children's birth places. All this I understand. 

Yes, I see the beauty in them to some extent. David Beckham flexing his abs and running around without a shirt - well, yes. Until he opens his mouth, I will sit and drool like a mindless idiot with the best of them. (Sorry Becks, but the day you started spruiking about 'Pepsay' in that voice, you lost me at 'ullo').  

The beautiful Miss A has them, and they suit her. I know the reasons behind hers, and I can appreciate them. 

And yet. 

The preponderance of meathead footy players with neck to ankle ink and twits like Justin Beiber covering themselves with symbols they don't understand - perhaps this is part of my 'thanks but no thanks'. Mostly though I think it's their permanency and the way they look on ageing skin. Today's proud eagle is tomorrow's sagging chicken after all. And the thought of living with a static image for the next forty years... quoting directly from yesterday's convo 'do I want a picture of Calvin & Hobbes lurking around for the next forty years?' 

Well, no. 

Perhaps the biggest thing for me - and this is very personal I admit - is something that is almost indefinable, and may sound painfully 'here she goes', but it's not intended that way. Judaism strictly speaking forbids the tattooing of the body for non-medical reasons as (this is simplifying it immensely) it breaks the sacred seal of the human body and the covenant with God. Piercings are the same - and yes I see the inherent hypocrisy as I have been there and well and truly done that. But with tattooing - what tool did Hitler use as the ultimate humiliation? What did he and Goebbels know would hit hardest?

And there we are.  

On a very much lighter note, I secretly know what my ultimate objection is.  

I will pick out a wonderful Chinese character, and have it put somewhere strategic for a select individual. One day I will be having a massage, or at the doctor, or wherever, and will be under the scrutiny of a Chinese speaker.

They will snigger, and I will ask them what they are laughing at.  

'Why do you have the character for "arse" on your hip?' 

Several Chinese characters. Exclamation point. 

Along Came A Spider

““Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?” ”

— Bill Maher

I have been reminded on a couple of occasions this week about what it means to live life virtually. And for someone who works within the realm of social media and the interwebs, I freely admit to being an online junkie. By the same token, I would much rather spend face to face time with those I love rather than just FaceTime - but if it is a choice between not having contact, or being able to yarp to those I care about as much as I like, whether they be across the country or across the world - as I have said before, then take me to your iLeader.

But.

Sometimes the phantom menace that is the wonderful world of the web does show its not so pretty side. I am not so naive as to think this shouldn't apply to me; Facebook isn't nicknamed Facestalk for nothing. And if I don't want to invite commentary on my comments, on whatever form of social media I use, then realistically I shouldn't be on there in the first place. I also accept the whole 'oh I can't believe you went to that place on that date without me' aspect of people knowing exactly where you are at any given moment in time, because hey, that's what you sign up for.

It ain't a private world, people.

But there is a limit.

Isn't there?  

Gossip has existed since the first caveman walked blinking out of his furs and saw his neighbour furtively carrying his third neighbour's woman off by her hair. It's the way we are. We thrive on it. Social media - hell, any kind of media - wouldn't exist without gossip. It could be said that gossip makes the world go round. Certainly common sense doesn't, otherwise we would all be living in peace and harmony and people like Kim Jong Nutbags would go up in a big puff of smoke.  

People love gossip. Scandal. It's ace. Dissing what people are wearing/doing/seeing. There's nothing better for the self-esteem than seeing someone make a poor fashion choice and feeling superior about it. But once the scandal simply becomes mud-slinging for the sake of it - well, then it becomes a whole different story.  

I am as guilty as the next person (unless the next person happens to work for TMZ) of enjoying looking at bad outfits and thinking about how much better I look in clothes. But do I like tearing people apart when they are in a state of distress? No. Similarly I don't see what pleasure someone can get in attacking someone's opinion in a way that is not about the opinion, but about the person.

I have to admit that what I am seeing at the moment on various channels is scaring the hell out of me. The amount of vitriol out there, and a simple lack of respect for other people's opinions is overwhelming. Everyone has a right to express themselves; but just because you don't agree with someone else, does that give you the right to stomp all over what they are saying in a way that is truly unkind, rather than informed debate?

I go back to my comment about perhaps being naive. If I want to get mad, I don't tend to do it publicly. I try very hard to keep grudges (except against certain sporting figures who just keep walking into it) private and personal. If I make a comment on social media, I think about what I am saying. I am by no means perfect at this, but I try to consider what I say in terms of how it will affect those who read it. 

Maybe that's all it comes down to; a bit of a pause between brain and keyboard. Because you can delete at will, but the words once written never really go away.  

That's the trouble with webs and nets. - they are, after all, designed to trap things. And personally, I don't like the idea of being a virtual bug.  One ends up being eaten.

Sometimes alive.  

Waiting For The Great Leap Forward

““Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ”

— Dr Martin Luther King, Jr

Yesterday saw some truly horrific events occur in the streets of London. I don't think there is anyone on the planet who has access to any form of media who could be unaware of what happened, so do I need to rehash the details - no. And that isn't what I want to talk about anyway.

I want to talk about hate.

I know it is naive in the extreme to expect everyone to link arms and sing 'it's a small world after all', and dance around and pretend everything is rainbows and unicorns. But in the last twenty four hours, I have seen so much hatred. Within minutes of the attack going out on the interwebs, people were calling for every Muslim in the UK to be 'shipped back to where they came from'. Where they came from?

So that would be Chelsea then.

What scared me the most was that some of the people yelling the loudest were in fact people whom I know, and would never have expected a reaction like this from. It really knocked me for six. It also made me realise that the perceptions we have of those we think we know should never be fixed, because again, that is naive and will inevitably lead to bubbles being burst and illusions shattered.

Hate begets hate.

The nature of the beast - and I am probably being unkind to beasts in general - when it comes to us humans is this; we are not nice. I have written about this before. Those who go against the tide in any way, shape or form are inevitably torn apart in some way, and yes, it sometimes is deserved, but it is those who are carried along in the rip who are usually drowned for no reason. The actions of those two cowards in London yesterday will have ramifications for so many others who are trying to fight for freedom in ways that are not hurtful. The mistrust and general lack of understanding between cultural groups - between religions - is now going to yawn even wider.

I think it was brought home even more strongly to me last night when a beautiful, intelligent and thoughtful friend posted something on Facebook regarding the epidemic of obesity that is evident in Australia at present. She was attacked for basically giving a damn. She spoke from a position of knowledge, and care, and without being disrespectful to those who are trying to lose weight and be healthy. The person who ripped into her - well, I can honestly say that they spoke from a position of ignorance. Their comments also encouraged others to make fun of the message she was putting across.

Hate begets hate.

We have to stop the mob mentality from taking over and destroying what is great about the human spirit. There is too much that is wonderful about humanity to let the Dark Side win.

This is a potentially optimistic day for me - not just because it is a Friday! It is a fairly big day in the Life of Kate. And I am determined to see a spark of greatness in people today. No matter what. And so I ask this of you:

Don't give in to hate. It is draining. It makes you empty, and tired, and hollow. It takes all the colour out of life and makes any experiences bittersweet, because spending time hating turns your psyche into a big gnarled knot of yuck. 

What those two men - if you can call them men - did is unforgivable. It is, to me, incomprehensible.

But judge them only. Don't judge a large chunk of humanity by their act.

Let your hate go, and take a giant leap forward - or even a small step.

I'm sure Neil Armstrong, and Dr Luther King, would approve.

Just a few rainbows and unicorns never hurt anyone.

Letter To The Non-Editor

Dear Facebook

As a faceless entity who already has the power to influence the liking and disliking of almost any product, photo and person on the planet, I think you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

Because I am about to press 'dislike' on you.

I realise the relative paradox of posting the link to this blog on you, considering the vitriol I intend to spew forth in your general direction, however, needs must where the devil drives, and so on and so forth. Use your enemy.

I was a latecomer to the Book of the Face. Hard as it is to believe, given my chosen career path, my natural love of the printed word and Luddite-ish tendencies kept me away from anything that involved the words 'social' and 'media' together for a very long time. But of course, like any addictive substance, you lured me in with your promises of witty exchanges between old friends (true) and the ability to stalk complete strangers because my friends think they're hot (also true - scary but true).

But now, my dear FB, you have taken the partnership and stamped on it. Disrespect has no place in my one on one relationships, and you have shown me no love of late. Timeline... having to re-set all of my security settings ad infinitum... we could have worked it out, Booky Wooky. But no. You had to add insult to injury, and start the monstrous perversion that is, one might say, the straw that broke the social media llama's back.

"What's on your mind?"

"What's happening in your day?"

You really don't want an answer to these queries, FB. Because the answer will be both full of naughty words and ripe with criticism of your empty questions. However, since you asked:

STOP ASKING ME STUPID ARSE STUFF. NOW. OR ELSE. I CAN UPDATE MY STATUS WITHOUT YOUR HELP. MY IQ IS MORE THAN 33, AND I STILL HAVE AN INTACT FRONTAL LOBE. SO SOD OFF, YOU BEHEMOTH OF BUSHWAH, AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

I can live without you Facebook. I actually can. People may scoff at this, but it's true. I did it before - and I can definitely do it again. So you want to know what's on my mind... see the above. The reason I use Facebook is because I am interacting with people, not a program. 

Don't pretend you care facebook.com - just sit back and be the Great and Powerful Oz.

I like my friends asking me stupid arse stuff (no offence friends).

Not a machine.